-DISCLAIMER- I was planning to upload something for a long time but have never found the right way to express what I wanted to say… At some point last week, I went out to have a coffee and forced myself to put at least part of everything into words. Well, here you will find the outcome of this session… (I’m also very sorry, that it is not in German, I hope everyone will be able to understand what I want to say... My last chapter was mainly formed and influenced by English so it felt more natural to stick to it (And I’m even more sorry for my grammar, spelling, punctuation and style))
It’s been a while, I know… Actually, way more than a while but, let’s be honest, who cares about time?
Okay, let me start in August 2018… I came back from Lesotho and had literally no idea what I wanted to do. There were some ideas and I followed few of them, some with more, some with less passion and enthusiasm. In the end, this aimlessness just took all my energy and pulled me down to a point where I had no idea how to escape and climb up again... After many rounds of overthinking my overthought thoughts, I’ve realized that I won’t find a solution and would probably just continue to run circles in my head. Additional to that, I had many struggles with being in Germany, I didn’t feel like fitting in at all. To be honest, I also didn’t spend too much effort on trying it, since I didn’t even want to fit in. I felt like a stranger in the country I grew up in, social rules and norms seemed unnatural and everything just felt wrong.
Okay, enough of weird explanations, let me get to the point… I made the decision to go back to Lesotho, though I would lie if I would say that I was sure about that step... There I was again, packing, saying goodbye and worrying about the upcoming time. I knew that everything would be completely different since I would be there without the volunteering program “weltwärts” and even more important: without Emma.
Two friends I had there, assisted me in organizing a place to stay and also helped me to settle in at the beginning. I restarted volunteering at Master of Healing Foundation which is one of the organizations, Emma and I have been working in. At the beginning this was my only activity, but with time, I build up quite some other work-possibilities. I literally became an allrounder. I improved my Henna skills and offered them at different occasions. Besides from that, I had some graphic design projects, helped out at various awareness programs and, finally, got a job in a production company. We are called “Khaya Holdings Productions” and are a team of different ages, home countries and personalities. I’ve been working with the team for more than 3 months now and it has really become part of my heart. I am one of our producers, which means something like “being the girl for everything”. I look after our online platforms such as a website, Facebook and Instagram, I am responsible for pre-, while- and post- shoot organization and I became one of our official representors which has brought me into meetings with different sponsors and partners. Together, we have been shooting a short movie called “Palesa” which deals with human trafficking. If you follow me on Facebook, you might have seen the trailer already (in case you haven’t, you can still find it there).
Shortly after I arrived, I’ve restarted thinking about how to continue, how long I want to stay and in which way I want to shape my future through education. The only thing I knew for sure, was that I have to continue schooling at some point. Though, I had no idea what, how, when or where… I won’t trouble you with all the details, so here is my conclusion: I will start with “Media Management” in Wiesbaden this coming semester (April 2019).
Unfortunately, I have to leave my production team alone with the upcoming project “Step-Up”. But nevertheless, I will still assist them wherever I can and I’m sure they will produce an awesome show.
My time here has been very shaping and outstanding. Everything has been different to the last time, my friend-group changed, my coworkers changed, my workplaces, even my own rituals and structures. This Lesotho and the Lesotho I’ve known from the last time are the same, but also completely different.
I am thanking you if you have made it this far though my post. It was probably not too informative but still, it might have given you some insights. I have no idea what will happen with this Blog once I’m back in Germany, in my dreams it’s still updated from time to time, but hey, re tla bona!
Love
Selina
Following, I will post links of Khaya’s online platforms, it would be cool if you check them out:)
Instagram of Khaya Holdings:
Instagram of my Henna:
Facebook of Step-Up:
Website of Khaya Holdings:
